Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
