Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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