no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
