blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
