U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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