Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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