Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
