I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize