i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
