Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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