no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
