I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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