he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize