I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he puts the penis in happiness.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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