What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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