you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
