miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
