these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
