my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Drake has all the answers
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
