too bad you live with your parents still
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
