I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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