I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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