I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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