wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Randomize
