So drunk, too bad you don't want this
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
