Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
