Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
