if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
