There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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