she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sext me about skeletons
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
