Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize