Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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