I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
