it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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