You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
