Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
