Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
