Your mouth is God's brothel.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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