Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
