I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
