Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
