Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
