I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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