I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
