Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
