I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
