he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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