shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
