Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
