okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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