That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
