So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
