i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm experimenting with sincerity
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
