your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
