Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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