thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
