I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
