I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
