im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
